Taking a break from stuffing wedding invitations into envelopes that are barely big enough to fit them... and contemplating a lot of issues that the planning of my wedding is bringing to the surface.

I was going to have my brother walk me down the aisle, but now I'm not so sure.  Considering he and my mother pretty much threw away any relationship they had with me (not to mention the fact that I can barely stand to be in their presence) I don't think they have the right to "give me away" now.  Maybe I'll ask my uncle... at least the rest of my family isn't as idiotic as my nuclear family.  I've always been pretty close to the uncle I have in mind, particularly since my dad passed when I was a kid... I think he always tried to make up for some of the affection I was missing...

My soon to be father-in-law is concerned that he's stepping on toes by making the wedding arrangements for me.  Lord knows, if he hadn't helped us, there wouldn't BE a wedding.  For one, we're getting married in my fiance's hometown, and his dad still lives there, i.e. he knows who to call and whatnot.  For two, my soon to be sister-in-law got married out there two years ago, so he's an old hand at it LOL.  He's booked the church, the hall, the catering, the DJ, meetings with the Reverend, the appointment for our marriage license; he's remembering all the little things like napkins and favors and such -- some of that wouldn't even have crossed my mind!  My fiance has wanted me to call and talk to him about it, but I'm waiting til he comes to town tomorrow -- I'd much rather thank him in person.

Besides, it's not like my mother has lifted a finger to help us; she hasn't even asked how the plans are going.  Dad (-in-law) is afraid that I'll somehow regret that my mother didn't plan my wedding with me, but he's wrong; she's the one who will regret that.  I will have no regrets for something in which I had no choice.

I'll just never forgive her for it.