'~.Deelirium.~'

Okay, if you were someone who's managed to drive away not one, but FOUR close friends in the past three months, wouldn't you clue in and realize that YOU were the problem, not the other people? That's not to mention the actual enemies this person has made...

I just can't stand people who constantly play the martyr by lying to everyone around them, making themselves out to be the victim when the actual truth is, they're the one stalking and harassing not one person but several people...

Then I go to this person's msn blog and read:
"My god I didn't think this could contiue but somehow it has...and I have done nothing to fuel it this time I promise..."

Heh.

This person so far has used a child to try and keep a significant other (to quite a disturbing extreme, might I add); lied outright about them still being together (said they were told to "wait and see what happened", when really a breakup had occurred); threatened to beat up the ex's new romantic interest; begun stalking a mutual friend of them and their ex, harassing this person almost to the point of a restraining order... and the list goes on. Let's just say that this person has so ostracized themselves, they're no longer comfortable with going out to our usual weekend haunt...

But when I see this person claiming innocence and touting an msn name of "I wish people would get their own lives and stay out of mine", well, it just about makes me sick. This is someone who butted their nose into everyone else's business on a regular basis, to the point of repeatedly spreading rumors about almost everyone they knew; and, when called to face up to it, laid blame everywhere but where it belonged: with them.

Seriously, I hope you read this and clue into what you've been doing; try to bitch about this entry and you won't have a leg to stand on, cause I haven't even used gender here. ;)

...Are being ordered!

We decided to check ebay when looking for my wedding gown, and found a company that custom-makes the dress if you win the auction. Here's the ad pic of my wedding gown: 

When the dress arrived, all it needed was a good steaming/pressing; otherwise,the style was pretty much what you saw in the picture, and it fit like a glove.  Looks a little different on me, but hey, I'm not an itty bitty! lol!

Consequently, when looking for dresses for my three bridesmaids, we checked with the same company. We were told to bid on the dress of our choice, and we could order as many as we liked, in whatever colors we liked! We won our auction, and here's the style of my bridesmaids' dresses: 

My maid of honor will be in burgundy, and my other two bridesmaids will be in navy -- and we're all in love with the dresses.

Yay for things FINALLY starting to fall into place!

I actually went over today and auditioned for Canadian Idol, God help me LOL!

It was a good laugh, knew I wouldn't get anywhere (which I didn't) but I just wanted to be able to say that I finally went in and auditioned for it. Nice people all over the place, TONS of amazing singers, and the guys who auditioned us were sweethearts.

So hey, I DID IT!!! :D

Wheeeeeeeee!

Finally got a call from an enterprise center that's going to help me with the business plan for our reptile & exotics shop -- Meeting scheduled for Wednesday morning to discuss the particulars! YAY, I'm about to become an entrepreneur!!!

Well, I'm no longer aggravated with the bridesmaid trouble. The one who will be away detailed out all the expenses she'd have besides the plane ticket, and let's just say my wedding ain't worth her having to spend up to a grand. I've also thought about the girl whose daughter has a birthday the same day as the wedding, and I can remember how hard it was for me to have my parents away for my ninth birthday. Nuff said.

Aside from that, things are going fabulously! My current bridal party is completely excited about helping me with the plans, and I can't wait til two of them finish their exams so we can go do some hardcore shopping. My sister-in-law and I got everything straightened away for ordering the wedding accessories. We're going with little thank-you scrolls with burgundy ribbon; wine napkins with gold print; and she's ordering us a pen with a wine-colored plume for signing the register! (that might not sound like a big deal, but for someone who pretty much hates white and refuses to have it in any way, shape, or form in her wedding, finding that pen was a Godsend!)

That being said, we had an interesting (good interesting) Easter weekend. We went out to my fiance's hometown to deliver invitations and visit. It was the first time we've been home since Mom(-in-law) died in January, so it was more than a little bit difficult, but it also felt really good to get home. Dad(-in-law) had been trying to find his and Mom's wedding cake topper for us to use; Sis(in-law) and her husband used it two years ago for their cake, and we wanted to continue the tradition. Dad had pretty much torn the house apart trying to find the topper; I walked into the house, and within twenty minutes, the topper was in my hands LOL!!! I swear, it's a woman thing.

I'm also getting a handle on putting the family bullshit behind me and getting on with MY life, MY way.

So now I'm thinking about table centrepieces and favors... yay for planning wedding details!

Well, I had to officially wipe the slate clean yesterday and start over, but I think it worked out for the best.  I have found three new willing participants.

As soon as I asked the other girls, they immediately got excited and started asking detailed questions and making plans; my new maid of honor and I spent about an hour looking at dresses online, and all four of us were making shopping, stagette, and travel plans as soon as we got together last night.  At least some people find my wedding important enough to make it a priority...

It was actually not that difficult to resolve; keikeirae, you'll make one helluva maid of honor LOL!!! (although the prospect of you planning a stagette?!? EEK! heeheehee) Another of the girls who will be standing for me is someone I wanted to involve in the wedding from the start, but couldn't justify putting her ahead of the girls I already had standing -- to be honest, from the looks of things, I probably should've had these two at the top of my list in the first place! I have the third girl shortlisted for want of a better word lol -- if my hubby-to-be can find another fella to stand for him, she'll be standing for me as well. The worst thing is, two of our friends that he would have had standing for him have left the province and can't guarantee they'll be home, so he's kinda scrambling.

I know that people have other responsibilities and such, but c'mon guys, this is my wedding! A one-time deal!!!  I knew that one girl would be away for the summer, but thought that she would be flying home regardless -- she never gave any indication that the airfare would be a problem. The other I thought could work out some compromise to manage both her daughter's birthday and the wedding; unfortunately, I was wrong on both accounts.  Maybe I should have realized that these things would create a conflict, but it was never presented as an issue.

Hindsight 20/20, hey?

Taking a break from stuffing wedding invitations into envelopes that are barely big enough to fit them... and contemplating a lot of issues that the planning of my wedding is bringing to the surface.

I was going to have my brother walk me down the aisle, but now I'm not so sure.  Considering he and my mother pretty much threw away any relationship they had with me (not to mention the fact that I can barely stand to be in their presence) I don't think they have the right to "give me away" now.  Maybe I'll ask my uncle... at least the rest of my family isn't as idiotic as my nuclear family.  I've always been pretty close to the uncle I have in mind, particularly since my dad passed when I was a kid... I think he always tried to make up for some of the affection I was missing...

My soon to be father-in-law is concerned that he's stepping on toes by making the wedding arrangements for me.  Lord knows, if he hadn't helped us, there wouldn't BE a wedding.  For one, we're getting married in my fiance's hometown, and his dad still lives there, i.e. he knows who to call and whatnot.  For two, my soon to be sister-in-law got married out there two years ago, so he's an old hand at it LOL.  He's booked the church, the hall, the catering, the DJ, meetings with the Reverend, the appointment for our marriage license; he's remembering all the little things like napkins and favors and such -- some of that wouldn't even have crossed my mind!  My fiance has wanted me to call and talk to him about it, but I'm waiting til he comes to town tomorrow -- I'd much rather thank him in person.

Besides, it's not like my mother has lifted a finger to help us; she hasn't even asked how the plans are going.  Dad (-in-law) is afraid that I'll somehow regret that my mother didn't plan my wedding with me, but he's wrong; she's the one who will regret that.  I will have no regrets for something in which I had no choice.

I'll just never forgive her for it. 

Man, you just never know.

When you get a call that one of your best friends has been shot with a nail gun and is in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery to repair her stomach and remove the nail that passed two centimetres from her heart... Well, let's just say it's a little mindboggling. Jaw hit floor would be an understatement, I think it actually landed in the basement somewhere... that's aside from the choking and sputtering...

Totally freak accident, too... one playful move, a slip of the finger, which shouldn't even have mattered considering the safety was on!!! Not only that, the nails wouldn't even penetrate a pillow if shot from any distance. They only go in at very close or point-blank range -- which is precisely where she was at the exact moment the bloody thing decided to malfunction. I mean, gimme a break, the odds against this one are phenomenal, but there she is, in a friggin hospital bed.

Total insanity... I hope they sue the fucking manufacturer...

Life is precious.

...broke down and signed up for LiveJournal... bout time, the thoughts running around in my head need somewhere to go besides bouncing back and forth between my ears.

Don't mind the color and layout tweaks, I am a graphic designer after all, I'm gonna be picky about these things.

Been going through some crap lately so don't expect a lot of my entries to be public at first -- I need venting space without having to worry that the wrong person is going to come across it...

... So, I guess that's why I'm here.